I know I talked about this before, but sheesh, it just strikes a chord within me. I really don't know why. Haha Maybe I'm at that age... -___- Anyway, lemme explain. So today, I was hanging out at Disneyland. [Uhm the one in Hong Kong] [Yeah.. I'm in Hong Kong now.] Idk if I was pms-ing, but tbh, it shouldn't be. Idk. It was like a moment of clarity. Like epiphany. It was really weird. As I was looking up at the fireworks, I started to cry. Everyone around me was looking up at the sky with stoned, emotionless faces.. With their camcorders facing the castle.. And I was the only one tearing. Tbh, it was because I was really sad. I want dreams to come true, not just mine. Yet I look around me and no one seems to believe that anymore. I look at the elderly on the street begging for money just to get by, whilst eating a simple bowl of rice and I just can't. [True story] I just can't. Idk what to do, and I can't change the world. The feeling is just so... Helpless. And as I listen to the bgm and see the fireworks light up the sky, I really, really want to believe that dreams can come true. That 'growing up' doesn't mean 'losing sight of your dreams'. I've been told many times before that.. I live in another world of my own. That my head is always in the clouds, and all the many other phrases you can explain it with. And suddenly, a single thought hit me. "Ah.. How nice it would be, to watch this with someone I loved." And clarity followed thereafter. Yupp. I want someone who can watch fireworks with me, but nope, I don't want to date a jerk who would laugh at me, when I tear up at the beauty of fireworks and sadness of the world, when I truly enjoy Disneyland, when I can sing every line to a Disney song, and believe in the simplicity of just well, believing. I want someone who doesn't have to lose his dreams to 'grow up', someone who can chase after what he wants passionately, even if the whole world laughs at him and says that he is a fool for doing so. Someone who will support me in chasing my own, and not laugh at me for believing in what Walt Disney believed in, just because it seems 'childish'. [Look up Walt Disney. He was mocked before he became a success.] Sigh. There are many things that I could explain or elaborate on, and things I could correct or add to prevent misunderstanding, but I really don't want to. I'm just too tired with all of this. I don't know if I can find someone like this in this lifetime, but it comforts me that I have Jesus and great friends. I can't help the elderly, but I'll try in my own small way. [This is my positive side trying to kick in] Sigh. I don't know why am I so emotional about this. :|
Signing off @ 8:33 AM
The Girl
About me
Rachel
twentyone
I think I'm supposed to write something awesome here.
