Saturday, October 1, 2011
Oh my gosshhhh. @______@I am TRAUMATISED![You can't feel me unless I put this in large font and caps.]
I woke up at 4 am yesterday,
to the sounds of Truffle scuffing her face on my bed beside me.
[This is common.]
Then the acrid smell of vomit hit me.
[This is uncommon.]
Apparently,
when I woke up,
Truffle was in the midst of smearing my bed with her vomit.
[THIS has never happened before.]
And while this sounds bad..
Don't worry.
It gets worse.
Cause guess what?
She was using her BUTT.
[Like peanut butter spread.]
[That's right, you people reading this in the morning.]
[Remember that toast?]
And as much as I would have liked to tell you that,
I woke up to find that it was only on my bed...
Noooo. It wasn't.
Cause that wouldn't be life anymore, would it?
There were piles of vomit everywhere..
..And I tried to be a good resident, I really tried.
But after clearing two piles of vomit with tissue,
[Yes, not even with water.]
I realised that I just couldn't do it.
Not at 4 am.
So I just covered the crime scene on my bed with a towel,
and went back to sleep, beside it.
Now,
wasn't that the loveliest story you've ever heard?
I'll tuck my children into bed with this tale,
to remind them of the dangers of vomiting in bed.
Cause the only thing I'll do,
is cover it with a towel and go back to sleep.
Win.
